I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
