Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
