you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
