His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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