Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
