wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize