Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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