You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
