Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
