idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You don't make any sense
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