I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
