Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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