Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
