I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
