a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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