my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
