2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
