he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
