No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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