The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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