i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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