that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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