rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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