She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
