Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Couch. On fire.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
