Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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