Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
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I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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