I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
