how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Your penis caused this!
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