Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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