dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
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