He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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