the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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