Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
