is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
operation have a gay friend backfired
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I am naked and annoyed.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
