Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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