I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
it's like heaven, but drunker
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
