I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
