it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
