Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I puked a lego.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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