I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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