I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
