He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
