Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
