By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
