I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
