Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
