somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
