So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
