awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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