after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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