used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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