he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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