This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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