how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
