Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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