Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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