I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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