You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
