I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
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The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
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I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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