Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
