At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize